If Honeymoons Were Like This, They Wouldn't Be a Thing — Heidi

A Serialized Pacific Voyage · Nomadventure.org

⚓ If Honeymoons Were Like This,
They Wouldn't Be a Thing

The true story of two teachers, one termite-infested sailboat, and a plan to cruise the Pacific Ocean.

The story so far: Josh is a Maui schoolteacher who lives in a truck, spearfishes before dawn, and had a plan to sail the Hawaiian Islands — until Heidi suggested they cruise to the South Pacific instead. Now they own an $8,000 boat with active termites, no working engine, and a name that makes the Coast Guard pause.

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Most people who dream about sailing away into the Pacific Ocean keep that dream filed neatly alongside other excellent intentions — learning conversational Mandarin, running a marathon before forty, finally reading Moby-Dick. Josh did not do this. He saved money in a truck, speared fish before dawn to afford the plan, and bought a twenty-five-foot sailboat named Tiny Bubbles from a marina where nobody was trying to impress anyone.

This is a serialized true story — published chapter by chapter as it's written. It is about sailing, about partnership, about what it means to choose an improbable life over a comfortable one. It also contains a visit from the United States Coast Guard, an incident involving a Luna Bar at wind speed, and termites.

Start at Chapter 1 and read in order, or jump to wherever you left off. New chapters are added regularly.

CH. 01 MAUI, HAWAII ✓ Published

Raw Fish — The Key to One Woman's Heart

Josh is a Maui elementary school teacher who spearfishes before dawn and eats reef fish in the school hallway. When he crosses paths with Miss Heidi one morning, he offers her a piece of palani from his breakfast container. She does not run away. She asks if he eats it raw. This is, improbably, the beginning of everything.

🐟 Features: pre-dawn spearfishing, reef sharks treated as minor inconveniences, sashimi as romantic gesture, and one sunset that should have come with a liability waiver.

Read Chapter 1 →

CH. 02 MAUI → HONOLULU ✓ Published

In Which a Sunset Ruins My Reasonable Life Plans

Josh has been living in his truck, saving every dollar toward a sailboat. Then he and Heidi watch a Maui sunset and she says "we should sail to the South Pacific" — and somehow that becomes the plan. He flies to Honolulu, sleeps on rooftops to save money, and hunts for a seaworthy boat. A German man named Klaus shakes his hand and then sells the boat to someone else. Josh finds a sloop with no keel. He keeps looking.

🌅 Features: truck living as lifestyle choice, the economics of discounted bakery bread, Honolulu rooftops as free accommodation, and the physics of why ballast is not optional.

Read Chapter 2 →

CH. 03 KEʻEHI BOAT HARBOR, HONOLULU ✓ Published

Eight Thousand Dollars of Fiberglass, Termites, and Optimism

At Keʻehi Boat Harbor — a part of Honolulu where the boats are older and nobody is trying to impress anyone — Josh finds a 1976 Pacific Seacraft 25 named Tiny Bubbles. She is not for sale. She is covered in oysters, smells of diesel, has shag carpet on the walls of the V-berth, a dead engine, and an active termite colony. He buys her for $8,000. Heidi flies over, presses a finger through the cabinetry, says "Mm," and asks what needs to happen first. Then they try to sail to Maui and a Luna Bar ruins everything.

⛵ Features: the Pacific Seacraft 25's impressive offshore pedigree, the structural role of termites vs fiberglass, the Kaiwi Channel's bad reputation, and a seasickness incident involving windward rails and poor planning.

Read Chapter 3 →

CH. 04 ALA WAI HARBOR / DIAMOND HEAD ✓ Published

The Coast Guard Knows Our Boat's Name Now

Evicted from the marina by the arriving Transpac race fleet, Josh sails out alone in a small craft advisory. The jib explodes. He anchors off Diamond Head in 50 feet of water in building conditions, spends a sleepless night checking the anchor rode by hand, and is visited by the U.S. Coast Guard — to whom he must announce, via loudhailer, that his vessel is named Tiny Bubbles. He survives. He learns to sew from a sailmaker named Walt. A juvenile hammerhead shark is involved. Heidi returns from Maui with garlic bread and a scopolamine patch. They are ready to try again.

🚁 Features: the Transpac Race, how to hand-sew a sail by flashlight, scopolamine as the sailor's secret weapon, and the specific weight of announcing "Tiny Bubbles" to federal authorities.

Read Chapter 4 →

— Coming Soon —

CH. 05 OAHU → MAUI ⏳ Coming Soon

Lāhainā or Bust

Josh and Heidi attempt the crossing to Maui for the second time. Heidi has her scopolamine patch. The sail is repaired. The anchor is bent but present. Tiny Bubbles is about to prove, despite everything, that she can actually be sailed.

CH. 06 LĀHAINĀ, MAUI ⏳ Coming Soon

Chapter 6

Coming soon — follow Nomadventure to be notified when the next chapter is published.

CH. 07 THE PACIFIC ⏳ Coming Soon

Chapter 7

The South Pacific is out there. So is everything between here and there.

About This Story

Josh and Heidi are the founders of Nomadventure — a family travel blog covering a decade of life on the road, on the water, and off the beaten path. They have sailed the Pacific, driven a converted school bus across North America, and spent nine winters in Costa Rica with their three kids. If Honeymoons Were Like This, They Wouldn't Be a Thing is Heidi's serialized account of how it all started — reconstructed from her voice recorder recordings made in real time.

This story is based on real events. Some names and dialogue have been recreated for narrative purposes. This site contains affiliate links; as Amazon Associates, Josh and Heidi may earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

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